You may have heard the phrase skeletons in your closet or listened to the song Skeletons (see lyrics below). Are there skeletons in your closet? How do they show up in your life?
In life, we have all kinds of experiences including some that are very hard, uncomfortable and painful. Thinking about them can bring up heavy feelings of shame and guilt. These experiences and memories can become skeletons you want to keep hidden and safe behind closed doors. You find ways to keep your secrets safe. Despite your efforts, sometimes they may creep out and haunt you and your relationships.
Holding on to painful experiences and memories can lead to a person feeling alone, ashamed, broken, and outcast which promotes depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders.
When isolated we lose our meaningful connections with others. When we distance ourselves from others we diminish our ability to feel their support. We also become less able to be there for them.
At some point you need to be willing to open the door and face your skeletons.
5 steps to bring out your skeletons, face them and put them in their graves
- Name your skeleton. Giving a name to something helps calm a part of your brain so you can start the healing process.
- Accept that the skeleton is a part of your history and doesn’t need to stay in hiding. Hiding feeds shame and guilt. Acceptance creates possibilities for growth.
- Identify the role this skeleton is playing in your story. What are you doing to keep it hidden?
- Work through traumas caused by the skeleton(s). Healing is possible!
- Work to forgive yourself and others. Move on, close the painful chapters and begin a new chapter skeleton-free.
Naming, understanding and learning from your skeletons takes effort! They will not disappear on their own. You may be able to address some skeletons on your own. Others you may need the help of family, friends and professionals. Asking for help empowers you to heal. You are worth it!
It’s time to begin facing and understanding your skeletons so you can put them in their graves. This will allow you to have more space to create and maintain meaningful connections with those you care about. Reach out and let’s begin healing today!
Skeleton by Brothers Osborne
I heard you been creeping round
‘Bout the time that sun goes down
You been talking in your sleep and
It’s been going on for weeks and I been
Solving puzzle pieces
High time to come to Jesus
You got skeletons in your closet
It’s written all over your face
Every little lie stacked so high
Can’t keep your story straight
I don’t know oh oh
How they got there, it’s getting under my skin
You got skeletons in your closet
And I got bones to pick with them, oh
I was born in the morning
But I wasn’t born yesterday
Deep into your inventory’s
Gonna send me to an early grave
You got skeletons in your closet
It’s written all over your face
Every little lie stacked so high
Can’t keep your story straight
I don’t know oh oh
How they got there, it’s getting under my skin
You got skeletons in your closet
And I got bones to pick with them
Yeah, you got skeletons in your closet
It’s written all over your face
Every little lie stacked so high
Can’t keep your story straight
I don’t know oh oh
How they got there, it’s getting under my skin
You got skeletons in your closet
And I got bones to pick with
Bones to pick with
Bones to pick with them, hey
Hoo
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Andrew Deroberts / John Osborne / Josh Osborne / Tj Osborne
Skeletons lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC, Downtown Music Publishing, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.f
